Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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