I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
