I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
