singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
