So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
