he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize