Non-Jews are for practice
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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