fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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