So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
