we're chasing vodka with high fives
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
