drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smelled like a LAN party
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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