You work out of a Hotel?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
