Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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