So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Vodka?
Forever.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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