Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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