dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
