Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
