So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
