I feel like abortions should bother me more
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
