I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
