oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
