drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
