he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
