I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
