Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
