pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
this is an emotional support booty call
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
