id be glad to
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
