So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
