I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
