I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
