god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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