Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You are the jesus of drinking
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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