we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
