i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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