I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
