he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize