On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
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