put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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