I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Operation Purity has been aborted
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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