I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
