porn star boner night. come get it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
