problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
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does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
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I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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