I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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