Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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