do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
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You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
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I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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