I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
