Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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