he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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