fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
love makes seman taste better
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
