I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize