haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
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nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
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I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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