went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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