so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
