I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
