If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
