PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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