I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
