1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize