I wish I could teleport
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize