In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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