i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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