We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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